Christie Brinkley Should Have Hired a Fidelity Inspector

Okay, now that the book tour is officially over, it's time to get back to talking about serious stuff. Infidelity. And we all know there's PLENTY to talk about in this arena. I mean, the celebrities alone give me enough ammo to blog about the subject for a lifetime! Take Christie Brinkley and Peter Cook, the biggest celebrity cheating scandal in the news right now. And although I was just as fascinated as the rest of the world to be immersed in the trials and tribulations of someone else's divorce proceedings, I couldn't help but wonder, as I watched it all unfold, if the whole thing could have been avoided. If only Christie Brinkley had thought to hire a Fidelity Inspector, she would have known ages ago if Peter was the cheating type and this whole public scandal would cease to exist. If only my book had come out years ago when all of this went down, maybe should would have picked it up in the store, felt inspired and found a real-life fidelity inspector (they do exist!) to test her husband for cheating tendencies. But then of course, we would have lost such great entertainment value...

Quality Affairs at the Quality Hotel

Someone really has to tell me what they're putting in the water over there in that Tri-State area.

Spitzer's Prostitution ring in New York, McGreevey's semi-homosexual threesomes in New Jersey, and now the new NY Governor, David A. Paterson is being accused of using campaign money to rent seedy hotel rooms in the Upper West Side of Manhattan in order to conduct his serial extramarital affairs. (Wait, do seedy hotel rooms even exist in the Upper West Side of Manhattan? Or is that an oxymoron?)

The blogosphere is buzzing. TV news viewers are hooked. And all the sources seem to be reporting the same thing: Paterson has claimed that yes, he did occassionally use his campaign credit card to rent rooms at the Quality Hotel on the Upper West Side for $100 bucks a pop when his other personal cards were declined, but he swore on his grave that he always reimbursed the card afterwards. Well, that's nice. And very considerate. "Hey campaign contributors, my credit card doesn't seem to be working. I have no idea why. I'll have to call the bank in the morning and sort it all out. In the meantime, I've got a girl waiting down here (wink, wink), mind if I borrow a few bucks from y'all if I promise to pay you back tomorrow. Cross my heart and hope to die."

Yes, that's exactly how it went down in my mind.

But the bigger question here that nobody seems to be asking is why did he choose the Quality Hotel (now the Days Inn) in the first place? Out of all the beautiful places to stay in Manhattan and he comes to the Quality Hotel? This is what I really want to know. Was it because it was discreet? Anonymous? Cheap? I mean, if his credit cards are getting turned down at the Quality Hotel, maybe it was a matter of penny pinching necessity. Or did he just read a really kick-ass review on Hotels.com? I believe I must have missed the "Ease of Affair" attribute in the five-star rating system.

I do know this much, however. The Quality Hotel (or Days Inn) on the Upper West Side, is no longer discreet, anonymous or cheap. In fact, it's now probably the most talked-about, frequented hotel in New York. And I actually feel kind of sorry for all those non-celebrity cheaters who often frequented this little gem of a hideaway. Now they'll have to start going to the real seedy hotels in Jersey with the rest of the seedy adulterers.