Life is Short...Have an Affair

This is the scandalous tag line in the new Ashley Madison Agency commercial that I just saw. I swear, this agency continues to baffle me. I can't decide if they're a disgrace or just fulfilling a need. An online dating site exclusively for married people? What will they think of next? Drive through divorce proceedings?

Would you like fries with your alimony payment, Mr. Smith?

And yes, I know I already blogged about this agency last month but I just saw this commercial for them on the History Channel and I had to share. Yes, you heard that right. The History Channel! No, I didn't accidentally mistake it for Spike TV. Apparently the marketing execs over at Ashley Madison think that this their target demographic. Who knew that History buffs were so prone to cheat on their spouses? All this time, I've been avoiding those types of guys who watch Nascar and The Man Show when I should be have been steering clear of the ones who watch Modern Marvels and specials about World War II.

Anyway, enough babbling. Here's the commercial, already. It's quite saucy. So watch at your own risk.

When Monogamy Becomes Monotony

So what does happen when monogamy becomes monotony? Well, according to a very unique website that was recently brought to my attention, when monogamy becomes monotony, the answer is simple: Start meeting other monotonous monogamists online at www.ashleymadison.com--a website strictly devoted to married dating. That's right, married dating. And here I thought "married dating" was an oxymoron. Well, as it turns out, it's a website.

The Ashley Madison Agency is the host of the site where bored married men and women can have online affairs that may or may not also lead to offline affairs. Although the site's FAQ section claims that they don't encourage infidelity, nor do they believe that a service such as this makes it easier for married people to stray, it does beg a few interesting questions.

We all know that there are plenty of married people registered on match.com and other popular dating sites (if you didn't already know or suspect this, then it's time to pack up your things, file a change of address with the post office and move out of the cave you've been inhabiting for the past ten years) but I would assume that most of the members on those mainstream dating sites are trying to appear not married. In other words, deceivingly posing as singletons in the hopes of landing a new, non-monotonous date. It's the virtual equivalent of taking off your wedding ring when a hot girl walks into the bar. But apparently the members on this particular niche site have nothing to hide. After all, the site clearly states that it was designed for married people looking for affairs. (I guess it's true, there is something for everyone on the internet.)

But this seems to present quite a paradox in my mind. Doesn't the very definition of an affair automatically imply some level of secrecy? Is cheating really cheating if it's done right out there in the open with search engine key words like "married dating" "extramarital affairs" and "cheating husbands" labeling the act for all to see (and google)?

I would think that being this open and relatively public about your desire to stray only opens yourself up to a higher chance of getting caught. Is the Ashley Madison Agency website eventually going to replace a man's email account as the go-to place to look for signs of a cheating spouse? Because if you were suspicious of your man's ability to stay faithful, wouldn't this be one of the first places you looked?

You can't browse the selection without a membership, however registration is free and I would guess there aren't all too many hoops to jump through before you are granted full access to their ever expanding database of the unfaithful. This is, without a doubt, the real, online version of "the fidelity files." And the key to the top secret file cabinet is only an email address and a 6-8 digit password away.