Unremembered Monday: Lish McBride
Welcome back for the next installment of UNREMEMBERED MONDAY!
What is Unremembered Monday?
In my new book, UNREMEMBERED (the first in a new sci-fi trilogy), the main character Seraphina, wakes up among the wreckage of a devastating plane crash of which she is the only survivor. She has no memories of who she is or her life before the crash but she soon discovers that her memory loss is not simply amnesia. Someone has been erasing memories from her mind.
In honor of the book (which releases March 5), every Monday, I’m featuring an awesome guest author (and book giveaway) and asking them to answer the following question:
Which memory would you most like to be Unremembered?
Our featured guest author post this week comes from the fabulous fun and quirky Lish McBride! Lish is the author of HOLD ME CLOSER, NECROMANCER and its sequel NECROMANCING THE STONE. And in honor of her hilarious guest post, I’m giving away copies of both her books!
Check out which memory Lish would want “Unremembered” in her post below:
It took me longer than I thought it would to think of something I’d like to have erased. Not because I’ve never done anything embarrassing. (I can almost hear my family and friends laughing at THAT idea.) And it’s certainly not because I’ve never said or done something stupid, hurtful, mean or embarrassing. If they were handing out titles for foot-in-mouth-type moments, I would have been born a Captain. I am now Grand High Poobah For Life of such things.
I can be a total jerk, guys. I don’t mean to be. I really, truly, don’t. That being said there are so many people I’d like to track down and apologize to. My basic problem is my brain is often about ten seconds behind my mouth. So if you’re out there, people from my past, and if I did something awful to you, I’m sorry. Odds are high that I’ve thought about that moment over the years and mentally kicked myself. So give yourself a hug and pretend it’s from me. Make it last. When I hug, I mean it.
Hugs aside, I belong firmly to the camp of people that want to keep their painful memories. They make us, yeah, but we also learn from them. My obsession with puffy kitten sweaters with jeweled eyes and black stirrup pants? Embarrassing. Erase it? No. I needed to learn early that I was a total geek that’s useless when it comes to fashion. It’s not that I don’t want to look good, but I’m lazy and I’m going to go for comfort and function every time. Clearly I would need to find a lifestyle where no one gives a damn what you look like. (Can you say, “writer” everyone?)
Oh man, what about that time I told a cop I was a hooker so he better leave my brother alone? (Long story.) Or my first kiss where I was so surprised I laughed at the poor boy? (Twice.) That time my bra strap broke in gym class during jumping jacks? The list is endless. Puberty is designed to embarrass you. It’s like nature’s hazing ritual.
As mortifying as all of these things are, I learned from them. Those moments are gifts of knowledge from past Lish. Past Lish says, “Hey, future me, some words—like hooker—have more than one meaning. Just because you’re referring to the hook in the tail of your cat costume doesn’t mean the policeman is on the same page as you. He’s not, otherwise he wouldn’t be laughing. Go home and ask your brothers what the word ‘hooker’ means. I have a list of other words you should look up while I’m at it. Save you some future blush-worthy moments.”
Past Lish is great for that and sometimes future me responds in kind. Like, “Hey, past Lish, if you laugh like a nervous hyena when a boy tries to put the moves on you, you’re probably not ready for romance yet…or whatever passes for romance in middle school. Maybe wait until college where you’ll meet boys who think your awkwardness is charming. Oh, and always carry a safety pin. They are dead handy and can be a nice temporary fix for all kinds of things. Like bra straps.”
So with this sea of mortification to fish from, I had a hard time finding a moment that didn’t also teach me something incredibly useful.
Then I caught just the fish.
Remember the part where I said puberty was engineered to humiliate you? Yeah, so are family members. It’s their job to embarrass you just like it’s your job to embarrass them. It’s the circle of life.
So one day my family was over at my Dad’s house—my aunts, all my brothers, my grandparents, you get the picture. I think I was maybe fourteen with all that entails. I walked into the packed kitchen and my aunt—whom I adore and continues to be one of my favorite people—came over to greet me. She held my arms out so she could get a good look at me and then announced, in front of everyone, “Oh, you’re getting so big! Look, you even have boobies!”
Cue hysterical laughter from my brothers.
Watch as my face turns bright red before I mumble something and scurry off to my room to hide.
Humiliation town, population me. I would happily forget that moment. The only thing I learned from it was that other people had the same foot-in-mouth problem that I have, and quite frankly, there are other incidents that I could learn that from.
Hilarious as always, Lish!
Now, it’s time to give away some books! Two lucky winners are going to take home copies of Lish’s books. Use the widget below to enter. (Giveaway is open internationally)
a Rafflecopter giveaway
ABOUT HOLD ME CLOSER, NECROMANCER:
Sam leads a pretty normal life. He may not have the most exciting job in the world, but he’s doing all right—until a fast food prank brings him to the attention of Douglas, a creepy guy with an intense violent streak.
Turns out Douglas is a necromancer who raises the dead for cash and sees potential in Sam. Then Sam discovers he’s a necromancer too, but with strangely latent powers. And his worst nightmare wants to join forces . . . or else.
With only a week to figure things out, Sam needs all the help he can get. Luckily he lives in Seattle, which has nearly as many paranormal types as it does coffee places. But even with newfound friends, will Sam be able to save his skin?
Hold Me Closer, Necromancer is a 2011 Bank Street – Best Children’s Book of the Year.
And don’t miss our previous Unremembered Monday posts:
Filed under: Unremembered Monday